In which I make my own Academy Awrd nominations

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Horace Bamburger in THE WALTONS: BEYOND THUNDERDOME (Minnie Minoso Features)
Slappy McFlattbush in THE TROUBLE WITH EGGPLANT (Canadian Filmworks)
Zinc Martindale in THE KINDNESS OF WALLEYE (Slipshod Features)
Perry "Plunger" Fontaine in GIDDY IN GILGAMESH (Flushimax)
Hank Ziphel in LLAMA FEVER (Bittman Bros.)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Slats Kashmir in THERE'S A GIRL IN MY DUMBWAITER (Pig & Whistle)
Telly Turkmenistan in 37 YARDS TO PAYDIRT (Doorknob Features)
Gary Bumfuzzle in PINK EYE (20th Century Prune Danish)
Smitty Jones in LLAMA FEVER (Bittman Bros.)
Sterling Tinfoil in THE LAST WHEELBARROW (Tanker Bros.)

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Candy Lickskillet in HASSIDIC HANKY PANKY (Cranky Films)
Penny Fighammer in TERMINAL BRAINFART (Crackpipe Classics)
Karen Kremekrisper in PINK EYE (20th Century Prune Danish)
Lupe Mapquest in SUNRISE IN DETROIT (Hotdogwater Films)
Lottie Oompaloompa in 37 YARDS TO PAYDIRT (Doorknob Features)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Tawana Touche in THOSE TROUBLESOME EGGPLANTS (Canadian Filmworks)
Tillie Vas Deferens in SWEET POTATO GOLDMINE (Sheisheimer Filmwerk)
Petra Vomicia in AMISH MELTDOWN (Gephardt Cinema)
Buffy Minoxidil in PORK SALAD SANDWICH (Tort Claim Cinema)
Pinkie Knuckler in THE KINDNESS OF WALLEYE (Slipshod Features)

Best animated feature film of the year
MAKING NUMBER TWO (Dick Webber Films) Wolfgang Babaganoosh and Kenneth Lay
WAKING UP DEAD (Mighty Fine Features) Winston Gasbag
DOING IT TIL YOU'RE SORE (Pop Warner Bros.) Gavin Meerschaum

Achievement in art direction
JEWS HARP SUPREME (Almost Films)
Art Direction: Nurk Throbber
Set Decoration: Sydney Turdsburry
ALONE WITHOUT A CANTEEN (Skippy Films Ltd.)
Art Direction: Leslie "Poo" Wrangler
Set Decoration: Ulf Shart
PAP SMEAR II : THE RESULTS (Supreme Pudding Classics)
Art Direction: Gaston Lungbutter
Set Decoration: Thor Drizzler and Dizzy Plutarski
PASS THE ANTHRAX (Sour Cream and Chives)
Art Direction: Red Wiggler
Set Decoration: Betsy Widebutter
WELCOME TO MY VIVISECTION (Smurch/Kvetch/Broadnoodle)
Art Direction: Buster Fleshfolds
Set Decoration: Luke "Tiny" Cathurler

Achievement in cinematography
THE JOYS OF TOLIETING (Pink Sniper) Peter Cheese
THE KINDNESS OF WALLEYE (Slipshod Features) Darian Vealplow
JEWS HARP SUPREME (Almost Films) Chud Lumpkin
QUEST FOR ONION DIP (Sour Cream and Chives) Cranky Cadbury
WELCOME TO MY VIVISECTION (Smurch/Kvetch/Broadnoodle) Jason "Spatch"
Wilkommen

Achievement in costume design
JEWS HARP SUPREME (Almost Films) Connie von Liplauncher
POINTING IT ELSEWHERE (15th Century Douchebag) Citronella Fatbaxx
PAP SMEAR II : THE RESULTS (Supreme Pudding Classics) Louis Loogi and
Heironymous Peestain
ACTION BEFORE BREAKFAST (Severe Cinema) Doreen Unclean
THREE BEAN SALAD SURGERY (Smurch/Kvetch/Broadnoodle) Patricia Fromunda

Achievement in directing
THIRTEEN MINUTES OF UNBRIDLED APATHY (Pink Sniper) Desdemona Prudewanker
APPALACHIAN VICE SQUAD (Supreme Pudding Classics) Ulysses S. Pants
GIDDY IN GILGAMESH (Flushimax) Captain Ed Slipknot
PASS THE ANTHRAX (Sour Cream and Chives) Terrence Uvula
WHO'S AFRAID OF A THREE POUND POLYP? (Instant Classics) Franklin Sigmoid

Best documentary feature
SHEMP'S SHAMEFUL SECRET (Inappropriate Art Releasing)
A Bulemia Films S.L. Production
Tank McNamara and Hampton Maria Backhoe
DIDDLING THE HENDERSONS (Moonpie Pictures)
An Almost Worthy Production
Kendrick Ballwater and Mitch Ocelot
IF IT WASN'T FOR TOAST (Fat Tony Pictures Classics)
A Furrowed Brow Production
Ethyl Turnbuckle and Skeets Slagman
MY MOTHER THE REGIME CHANGE (New Hampshire State Police)
A Rupert Pupkin Project, Inc. Production
Merriwether Krab and Sheckie R. Shortwillie
THERE SHALL BE WON TONS (Krusty Distribution)
A Loose Stool Project Production
Sammy Moron and Billy Bob Schwartz

Best documentary short subject
TORN BETWEEN TUNA AND SHADENFREUD
A Clammy Bum & Hatrack Production
Lyle Lipstick and Ginger Poonie
EXPLOSION AT EDDIE'S
A Winnepeg YMCA Documentaries Production
Maryann Mudpie
A GLASS OF WINE WITH GRANDMA AND HER FRIEND LENNY
A Bacon Salad Pictures Production
Katherine Plinko

Achievement in film editing
WHERE ARE MY BLUE TROUSERS? (Blank Slate Productions) Deek Horsehide
A POCKETFUL OF TEABAGS (Runny Features) Goofy Malone
THE TROUBLE WITH KNEE SURGERY (Supreme Pudding Classics) Helmut Hemp
PASS THE ANTHRAX (Sour Cream and Chives) Joey Jumpball
HOUSE OF TURDS (Smurch/Kvetch/Broadnoodle) Davey Conception

Best foreign language film of the year
THE NIGHT OF THE GOUDA
A Cinémamohair Inc. Production
Canada
SCORCHED TANG
A Pinescented Film & Television Production
Sweden
TOKYO TIPJAR
A Shochiku/Nippon Television
Network/Sumitomo/Hakuhodo/Nippon/Toyota/Bathysphere/Lenny Ono/Leon Redbone
Shuppan Hanbai/Buster Yamodo/Wantanabe Gooseflesh/Eisei Gekijo Production
Japan
THE MAN WHO THOUGHT HE WAS A TOE
An IdtV Smoked Fish Film Production
The Netherlands
ZELARY FARTZ
A TotalZ HelpArtZ T.H.A./Barrandov Studio
Production
Czech Republic